The Tragedy of Heterosexuality by Jane Ward. No Advance Reader Copy included. No affiliate links used. Read my full disclosure policy here.
“If queerness is too much, then straightness is too little, the relational manifestation of lack.”
The Tragedy of Heterosexuality is a provocative title. Deliberately, so. Jane Ward’s examination of the pitfalls of straight culture is a twist on the all-too-common idea that it is a tragedy to be lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender. What if heterosexuality has more problems than we’re willing to admit?
I read this last month as research for an essay I’m writing (the same reason I read Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel), and I haven’t stopped thinking about it since. It’s political. It’s queer. It’s feminist. It challenges the notion that LGBTQ+ people would automatically choose to be straight if they could.
“I am worried about straight people. And I am not the only one. Queer people have been concerned about straight culture for decades, not only for our own sake—because we fear homophobic violence or erasure of queer subculture—but also because straight culture’s impact on straight women often elicits our confusion and distress.”
Ward argues that heterosexuality has a misogyny problem because heterosexuality and misogyny are inextricably linked. Again, another provocative claim. We’ve all seen the headlines associated with studies showing that women in relationships with women have more and better orgasms than women in relationships with men. Or the studies showing that men benefit more from marriage than women in health, wealth, and overall happiness.
In exploring why this is the case, Ward accepts that direct comparisons between lesbian and straight relationships are not always available because “heterosexuality studies” is still in its infancy, meaning there is only a small body of research.
Ward argues that straight men could learn something about embodying their love of women from women who love women (sapphics). That is, loving women starts with liking and respecting women.
While Ward references the LGBTQ+ community throughout, she often speaks of women as being straight or lesbian with little to no mention of bisexual, pansexual, and other m-spec women. Given that we, as bi+ people, have unique experiences with both queer culture and straight culture, this felt like a missed opportunity.
I do not doubt that others will expand on Ward’s work, so I read this as the beginning of a thought-provoking and much-needed conversation rather than the final say. I’m not sure I agree with all of Ward’s conclusions, but I learned a lot from reading this and could understand why she reached those conclusions.
The Tragedy of Heterosexuality by Jane Ward is published by NYU Press and is available in hardback, paperback, ebook, and audiobook formats.
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