Once upon a time I shared weekly round-ups of articles, blog posts and stuff from the internet that caught my attention. While I no longer do this, for the last few years I have shared the articles that impacted me most throughout the year. This year is no different.
Less but not lesser
I’m getting comfortable with being idle and not feeling guilty about it. I am coming to terms with the fact that I don’t owe anyone my time. - Less but not lesser
I think most of us can relate to Siún Ní Dhuinn’s gorgeous words about learning to do less in a culture obsessed with productivity and the cult of busyness.
The Currency of Tears
When my sons cry, I hold them and say, don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry, when really I should say, cry, cry, cry, or I should just hold them and say nothing. I save all their teeth, but I don’t save their tears. It’s been zero days since someone in my house didn’t cry. - The Currency of Tears
Sabrina Orah Mark’s essay about tears, motherhood, grief and fairytales made me cry, which I think is a fitting tribute.
The Age of Bathfluence
Baths are simple, but, in my experience, their effects can be profound. No matter if you bathe au natural or turn your water into a bouillabaisse, unplug or don’t, what makes a bath worthwhile are the small efforts that go into it. - The Age of Bathfluence
I love taking long baths and am as guilty as the next person of Instagraming my bath bombs, so this article by Rachel Syme was a joy to read.
There Is No Cure For Burnout
When you’re burned out, it can be impossible to think beyond the shit next up on your to-do list. There is just so much to do, and doing those things is hard, and wanting to write the next great American novel or dig yourself out of debt or start a new business seems almost absurd. - There Is No Cure For Burnout
2019 was the year burnout went mainstream. Mostly with bullshit articles about how to optimise your day to overcome your burnout. Ella Dawson’s essay makes the point that burnout is inevitable for most people and it has no real cure.
The Fraught Culture of Online Mourning
Tweeting about my mother’s death, and posting photos of her on Instagram, became my own imperfect Victorian mourning ritual, a process through which I took public stock of my grief and asked — still ask — others to bear witness. - The Fraught Culture of Online Mourning
I’ve spent much of this year learning how to grieve. I say learning because, well, everything I thought understood about grief proved wrong following my dad’s death. One of the things no one tells you is how to tell the internet your loved one is dead. Many people would argue that you don’t need to tell the internet, but when you spend so much of your time online it feels weird to carry on posting as if nothing is wrong.
How Millennials Became The Burnout Generation
Burnout and the behaviors and weight that accompany it aren’t, in fact, something we can cure by going on vacation. It’s not limited to workers in acutely high-stress environments. And it’s not a temporary affliction: It’s the millennial condition. It’s our base temperature. It’s our background music. It’s the way things are. It’s our lives. - How Millennials Became The Burnout Generation
Anne Helen Petersen’s article about millennial burnout was everywhere when it was published in January and it is easy to see why. For people who already knew they were suffering from burnout it emphasised that they weren’t alone. For people who were experiencing the issues mentioned in the article who may not have realised it was burnout it served as a starting point for better understanding what they were going through.
‘I thank grief for showing me just how much I loved my mum’
As I manage the pain, the grief and slow recovery, I’ll find my way.
It’s only right to suffer because I loved her that much.
I really did and I thank grief for showing me just how much. Grief and I are besties now and we must learn to respect each other and give each other space to grow.
And I’ll be okay, in time.
Not because I am brave but because I don’t have a choice. - ‘I thank grief for showing me just how much I loved my mum’
I read a lot of articles about grief this year and this essay by Emma Hayes is one I’ve reread many times since its publication.
I’m in a Heterosexual Marriage. Do I Need to Come Out as Queer?
When we come out to ourselves and to others, we’re doing a lot more than announcing sexual preferences or what have you. We are communicating the geometry of our souls as we understand it, giving others the opportunity to see us for who we are in a more complete way as only language can do—not just with words, but nonverbally as well. - I’m in a Heterosexual Marriage. Do I Need to Come Out as Queer?
This answer to a reader’s question about realising they are queer while in a monogomous straight marriage and wondering whether they should come out to people other than their spouse and close friends is full of empathy.
I had a mental health crisis and people did not know how to respond
I felt like I was visibly drowning in a room full of people, screaming for help while they looked on, doing nothing, but saying “That looks very difficult. I support you” – and having the world tell them that they were excellent friends, they were mental health allies, they were Being Supportive. - I had a mental health crisis and people did not know how to respond
When I wrote about the conversations we are not having about mental illness for my newsletter back in October, I mentioned how ill equipped we are to handle the types of mental illnesses that result in relapses. We need more than platitudes. Our education around mental health must encompass everything, not simply 'exercise and you’ll feel better.”
How to Explore Your Queerness When You Have a Straight Partner
A journey into one’s queerness doesn’t have to involve sex outside of the relationship, or even sex in general. Just noticing that you’re attracted to other genders can be the extent of this exploration. The act of coming out to yourself, or maybe saying, “I’m bi. I don’t know what that looks like yet, and that’s OK,” has the potential to be extremely affirming. - How to Explore Your Queerness When You Have a Straight Partner
This is a great article about realising that you are bisexual, pansexual or otherwise non-monosexual while being in a relationship with a straight person and how to navigate your newfound queerness.
The internet made trans people visible. It also left them more vulnerable.
In the meantime, the internet is now the battleground on which we fight — against hate, against intolerance, against disinformation. But mostly, we fight for the right to exist in our own bodies. - The internet made trans people visible. It also left them more vulnerable.
Katelyn Burns on the impact the internet has had for trans people, both in terms of positive visibility and the rise of transphobia.
The 27th Amendment Of The Constitution Has Been A Grievous Mistake
As our British cousins race to apply for their Irish passports to unlock the benefits of EU citizenship that their body politic seems hell-bent on firebombing, we are reminded that a core tenet of human civilisation is being breached on this island. That is, the eternal truth that you should always belong in the land you were born to. - The 27th Amendment Of The Constitution Has Been A Grievous Mistake
Dean Van Nguyen on why we need to repeal the 27th amendment to the Irish constitution.